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Korak in Pal-ul-don


Steve Allsup

Webmaster's remarks: Hey! We just print this stuff! :)

Seriously, Korak gives us an off-beat, yet very intriguing look at the ape-man. This is a short one act play. Don't blink, you might miss some Fun Theater! Originally appeared on erb-list, August 21, 2007. See author's sidebar as it contains introductory information regarding the gem you are about to consume!

Here is an interesting artifact that I found searching my files. This is a complete short one-act play that I composed about Tarzan. I wrote this in 2000, when I was in Africa. We had a weekend gathering of every missionary in the country, and they had a talent show for fun. I wrote this skit and my team put this on. Later, I revised and typed it for a playwriting class at the local university. I then read it aloud to that class. It is not even close to politically correct (partly because of the context in which it was written), but it is in the form of an old Weissmuller film. The name Tarzan has been substituted as Greystoke. For what it's worth, I submit this piece to Tangor for the Korak in Pal-ul-don pages. It is just an imaginary Tarzan fantasy.

(The SCENE is a treehouse in the jungle of Africa. JANE, an attractive women in her late thirties, is bustling about preparing for the evening meal. She is dressed in jungle attire.)


JANE: Oh Greystoke! Time for English lessons!


(The loud victory cry of the bull ape is heard off-stage. GREYSTOKE appears and drops into the treehouse from above.)


GREYSTOKE: Greystoke get COLD flying through the trees in loincloth! Jane! Greystoke bring supper.


(Drops a stuffed animal into chair.)


JANE: Oh, thank you, Greystoke! Are you ready for today's English lesson? It won't be long before you will speak as well as Boy.


GREYSTOKE: Greystoke KNOW English! And Greystoke know French, Lingala, Bantu, ape-talk, elephant talk and enough lion talk to get by one. Greystoke know more talk than Jane have fingers and toes!


JANE: But Greystoke, you need to learn to read books!


GREYSTOKE: Why Greystoke need books? "Toobob" read books, then damage environment! "Toobob" read books, then come and poach animals going extinct! "Toobob" read books and make big hole in ozone!


(He points to the sky.)


JANE: But, oh Greystoke, you should be able to read the Bible! You should be reading to Boy, not Boy reading to you.


GREYSTOKE: Greystoke see Bible movie! Greystoke see Jesus film in village of Mugambi. Greystoke give it two thumbs up?! Anyway, Jane, Missionary Von Harben say Greystoke saved by grace, so why Tarzan need Bible?


JANE: I don't know about that, but you simply must learn the King's English!


GREYSTOKE: Jane not remember? Missionary Von Harben dunk Tarzan in Congo River. Tarzan saved!


(ENTER MARABOUT ACHMED up the porch ladder.)


MARABOUT: Greetings, friend Greystoke, and how is your household this day?


GREYSTOKE: Good, Achmed. How things down in river village?


MARABOUT: Not good, Greystoke. Toobob come and poach endangered animals, damage environment, and make big hole in ozone!


(He points to the sky.)


GREYSTOKE: See, Jane? Too many books!


MARABOUT: My friend, we need a strong leader in the village. I have come by to ask you about this. How do you feel about becoming a true follower of Islam and the five great pillars?




JANE: You must understand, Achmed, Greystoke was saved recently.


MARABOUT: Greystoke? A disciple of Issa?? When I discover who has thus misled you, I will have ado with that infidel!


GREYSTOKE: Missionary Von Harben under Greystoke's protection! Who hurt Greystoke's friend face Greystoke's wrath!


MARABOUT: In that case, I hold my peace.


GREYSTOKE: Greystoke saved...Marabout get saved!


MARABOUT: May Allah never behold the day! My friend, peace to you and farewell.


(MARABOUT exits. Enter BOY, dropping through the window. He is an athletic teen-age youth in Khaki shorts.)


BOY: Hey, Greystoke! Hello, Mother!


GREYSTOKE: Boy! Come! We go hunt wild boar.


JANE: Don't do this to me, Greystoke!


BOY: That's okay, Mother. I think I'd rather go play some Intendo for a while, thanks anyway, Greystoke. Is Cheetah around to run the electric generator treadmill, so I can play some Donkey Kong?


(BOY turns to leave.)


GREYSTOKE: Boy! Wait. We talk. We talk man to man. Boy not small any longer. Now Boy big! now.


JANE: That's true, Greystoke. It does seem silly to keep calling him "Boy" now that he is a man.


GREYSTOKE: Boy, what name you like? Maybe Lion? Or Gorilla? Boy big like "Ox"!


BOY: Well, I've been thinking, maybe...Sidney. Or maybe Kevin. Or Reginald.


JANE: How about Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John? You know, your father's real name is John.


GREYSTOKE: John not Greystoke's real name. GREYSTOKE Greystoke's real name. Boy mighty hunter like father! Call Boy Korak, son of Greystoke! Korak ape name for Killer of Beasts!


BOY: Korak! What a neato name! It sounds so cool. Thanks, Greystoke.


JANE: Oh, very well, dear, but be sure on your Oxford application to put Greystoke as your last name. You won't be able to get into Oxford without that. Why don't you go and work on it right now and finish it up so we can mail it. You know it will take at least six months to get to England, and school starts this fall. We'll have supper pretty soon.


(BOY exits.)


JANE: Now darling, repeat this verse after me: "The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on rock."


GREYSTOKE: Rain fell, flood come, wind blow on treehouse, but treehouse not fall, it grow on top of big rock. It sit on Great Escarpment. How Book know of Great Escarpment?


(JANE falls into GREYSTOKE'S lap, and they lock in a passionate kiss.)


JANE: Oh, darling! My own true Greystoke! My hero!


(GREYSTOKE carries JANE into bedroom.)